Thursday, March 4, 2010

I am in a slump!

I have started writing this post twice now. I feel that the first two where to dark and I really don't like where that is leaving me. Have you ever had one of those days where the thoughts in your head just feel horrible? That has been my day... I am in need of a do-over! I haven't been able to meet my goals because Megs has been sick and lets face I too am sore!
{WARNING: RANT THAT IS MORE LIKE A TEMPER TANTRUM COMING AHEAD ! IF YOU DO NOT WANT DRAMA TURN AWAY NOW!}
I have just had one of those days! Maybe its all the gifts I am making for baby showers, or the fact that people think I need to hear " at least you have one" {Which I know I am so blessed for, but when you have a dream of having a large family....I will just save it for another post and leave it at that} or the fact that even my child is noticing all of her friends Mommy's have a baby in their tummy. I don't know I think I am in one of those I am going to take a day mood. As most know from my last weeks post I had a cyst rupture. It hurt, but it has also lead to some very interesting comments; like I know you are pregnant. {SIDE NOTE: I have had a cyst rupture before, it was right after my honey moon and 5 weeks later I found out I was pregnant} so I know that what being said is in good intentions but, in the end it has effect me more then I thought it would. Does anyone know what I mean? I feel completely alone on this. I just don't think lighting will strike twice in this case, last time I was healthy this time I am not and that is just the simple facts. SHOULD I LET MYSELF HOPE OR PROTECT MY HEART? I am just in a down mood. I feel like I am on a never ending cycle I keep trying to find my energy fountain but I haven't. Any way well that's it. I am going to put on my BIG GIRL PANTIES, smile and not give up. I did have an aha moment in finally realizing that this was going to be harder then I thought but I guess that was bound to happen.
{RANT OVER}
So I thought I would leave you with something to give some good feelings my favorite a nice quote:Even when you feel the truth of [the] capacity and kindness of the Lord to deliver you in your trials, it may still test your courage and strength to endure. The Prophet Joseph Smith cried out in agony in a dungeon:
“ ‘O God, where are thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?’(D&C 121:1–2). . . .
“The Lord’s reply has helped me and can encourage us all in times of darkness. Here it is: ‘My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes’ (D&C 121:7–8).”
Henry B. Eyring, “Adversity,” Ensign, May 2009, 24–25 {THIS MADE ME SHED A TEAR}
Tiff

2 comments:

Bee Bee said...

I am sorry you had a bad day. I have been exactly in that place before and it is no fun. I hope that everything works out and that today is better.

Daisie's and Olives said...

i completely understand where you are coming from. I am 36, have one child and also have pcos and do relate to how you feel, i love your blog. i just started blogging and im a little confused...wish me luck