SHOULD I OR SHOULDN'T I...

So I am now at a crossroads. That every infertile women faces when aunt flow is suppose to arrive. Should I or Shouldn’t I test? On one hand I am stung by curiosity {could this be the time? } On the other hand I have been down this road before. I have strong arguments for both and here is why.



I SHOULD…..

Last month was a weird month for me. Tomorrow I will hit 20 days in my cycle. 20 right now is a significant number for me. In case you didn’t know last month I had my first ever 20 day cycle. When you are used to a 35-70 day cycle the one little number of 20 becomes a milestone of importance. Also this 20 day cycle was only six days of spotting. Which could mean implantation. Now I did take two pregnancy test while spotting and they both came out as one might guess BFN. Now though I can’t help thinking… maybe it was to early? Should I let my self go down this path again?



I SHOULDN’T



We are talking about a women with PCOS here. In my world no two cycles are the same. I have been down this road before filled with hope and a lot of anxiety. It painful to feel like you might be close, and yet know in the back of your head that you are probably not. You take each little symptom that you think you may have and you use it until it is brittle to justify your belief that you are indeed pregnant. {For me right now it is the smell of hot dogs} Dear I forget all these little tid bit that I have been allowing to be suppressed in the back of my head? Or do I go down the path that leads to darkness if wrong?



I know I will probably take the first choice and test. It is way to tempting. It reminds me of chasing rainbows when you where a kid. Right when you think you are close you look up and it even farther away. The temptation however is still there closer then ever. What would you do? When would you test? I think I will let my body do what it is going to do and if nothing by Sunday then Monday I will test. What do you think?

Quote of the day:

“Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).”

Robert D. Hales, “Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually,” Ensign, May 2009, 7

Love,

Tiff