Today was a hard day. Just a quick update.... I ended my Lupron Shots two weeks ago, and the last week I have been taking both Clomid and Femara. Today I was suppose to get my trigger shot. I didn't, my eggs are not big enough. My RE wants to wait and see if they grow bigger. I pray they do. There is something in my gut that is telling me this is our month. I can't help but question myself though I thought I would be pregnant by October. I have faith, and that is such a comfort, but I can't help but break down....maybe its the hormones. That is one blessing the hormones really don't let me hold anything in.
The pain is raw, I feel as though the wind has been knocked out me. I have tried to keep myself busy I baked bread, whipped up some Turkey Salad, and cleaned my house. I really haven't felt emotional until I had a quiet moment where the question came in my head, when? I will not let my hope die, I still have a chance for this month. This is the way I feel and I might be completely wrong but as soon as I let my faith drown and my hope die then this trial has won. (I am way to competitive for that ;) ) Venting is good for the soul it lets you get everything out so nothing is left to grow in to bitterness and hatred. I am so grateful I have place like this to do that very thing.
Nobody said this path would be easy, but I am so grateful that I have the comfort of my Father in Heaven. In the DR's office even though it hurt I was at peace at comforted. I think it is important to still feel this pain, I learned along time ago it is not selfish deed to let yourself feel. It makes you stronger and very aware of the blessing we have.
Thank you all for being a great blessing to me.
Tiff